Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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