she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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