Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
