would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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