Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have aggressive nipples.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
