3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
