I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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