I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
