Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
