i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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