My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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