you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
