I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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