I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize