at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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