had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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