speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize