A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize