please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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