Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
