So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
