hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
