i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
