So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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