Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
