the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pants are for mortals
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
