Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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