standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
