That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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