Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This baby is an asshole
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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