I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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