I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
