i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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