I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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