took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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