I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
