She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
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