i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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