See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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