I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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