She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
