She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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