On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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