I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
