i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
