so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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