Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I forget how to act sober
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
