Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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