I'm lost and stupid without you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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