Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
