A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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