He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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