I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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