I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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