HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
