You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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