Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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