Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
