I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dick very happy bro
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
