I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
