just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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