she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
